Crazy Dreams & Bath Time

One of the joys of pregnancy would be intensely vivid dreams.

I have always had really bold dreams to begin with, so when you add in the hormones, they just get weird.

Examples:

After stealing a buttload of money, I was asked what I was going to do with all of it.

My response was, "buy Ian Somerhalder... I want to know what he tastes like."

Being trapped inside a large hotel with Sophie, running from a tyrannosaurus.
By the way, the whole "just stand still" thing from Jurassic Park is complete bull.

Some creepy man kidnapped me and kept me locked in his basement for months.
When I finally escaped, I got my revenge by scratching the paint on his bright yellow car.

And most recently:
Denny and I are "separated."
I am dropping Sophie off with him for their first weekend at his place.
I am sitting outside a steak house crying uncontrollably.

I turn into a fish.

I am with other fish trying to get away from an orca.

I am in a grocery store.

Buying a cart full of breadsticks.

Mya kicks me and I wake up.

This stuff is banans.

Anyway.

Here are some cute pictures of the girls taking a bath.

Chosing my Midwife

This is one of my favorite ways someone has talked about home birth.

My family has been supportive thus far, even if I can hear the "OMGYOURGOINGTODIE" in their voice.
I'm grateful that they keep any negativity to themselves.
Negative vibes are bad for a fetus ya know.


When I was pregnant with Mya, I knew the next child would be born at home.
While I loved my CNM Christy Francis, I just wanted to get out of the hospital.
I feel safe at home, I am comfortable at home, I can eat whatever I want at home, the children are in their own environment, they can also be involved as little or as much as they like, I don't have to fight off nursing staff, it all just makes sense.

I am well aware that home birth is not for everyone.
Giving birth is about where the mother feels most comfortable.
For me, that place is home.




On my our quest to birth at home, an important part was finding the perfect midwife.

This part was insanely frustrating.

I emailed at least 5 midwives, only 2 of which actually responded after the first email.
Poor business practices? Yup.

Quirky Mama $1900
North Salt Lake
includes placenta encapsulation in price
birth tub use

Brickyard Birth Medicaid or $3000 + birth kit
South Salt Lake
Medicaid is still deciding if they will cover home birth
birth tub use

Birthwise Maternity Care $2900
(took 2 emails to get a response a few weeks later)
Layton

Arrival Birth Services $2900
(2 emails, no email back)
Ogden
beautiful birth center

Papaver Midwifery $1900
(3 emails, no email back)
Salt Lake
willing to take trades
birth tub use
placenta encapsulation at extra cost

(These are the prices I got at the time, they could possibly change)


After interviewing the top two, it was an easy decision.

While I'm sure all of the other midwives are wonderful, they simply weren't the perfect fit for me.
Being as this could very well be my last pregnancy, I get to be picky.
 (I said last pregnancy, not last child. With the severity of PPD that I get, it just isn't fair to my family. If it is bad this time around, we will adopt the rest of our children.)

I chose the lovely Jessica Stahle of Quirky Midwife to look over my pregnancy and birth.
I felt at ease with her, which didn't happen with any other providers.
I love that she includes placenta encapsulation in her global fee.

When I mentioned my PPD, she actually asked me about it. Every other medical provider threw pills at me.

I'm happy with my decision, and look forward to getting to know her even more over the next 6 months or so. :)

And just because I know my mother yearns for more pictures, here ya go.
I've been practicing my low light photography.

Bring Me Tacos

I have been too busy dying to bother posting anything.

Honestly, I kind of want to punch my hippie self right in the face.

The one that so confidently says "pregnancy/birth are not illnesses, they do not belong in the hospital."

All I feel is ill. 

I have felt like I've had the flu for the past 2 months.

Exhausted. I could drop into a coma at any given point during the day.

Nauseous. Any smell makes me want to hurl.

Weak. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack after carrying Mya up the stairs.

Emotional. Everything makes me want to cry or scream.

Anywho.

I will be done with the hell of the 1st trimester after the new year.

There is hope.

Current Updates

Me- dying.

Denny- trying to be both mom and dad.
Not so easy.

Sophie- socially starving. 

Every day she asks me for playdates with anyone she can think of.

Problem 1 - we have no car.
Problem 2 - I have zero desire to see anyone.

Mya - tiny terrorist.

Fighting any and all forms of sleep.

She has entered that state of toddlerhood where she just blankly stares at you.

"Mya, come here." *blank stare*

"Mya. Come. Here" *blank stare*

"MYA. COME. HERE" *turns and walks away.*

It's loads of fun.

Feel free to drop by with a bag full of tacos at any time.
 

I Cannot Be Help Responsible

if I punch someone in the face. It's the hormones! I hate everyone.

People who simply annoyed me before, now drive me absolutely insane. I think of them getting hit by buses and my mouth twitches with happiness. Have I completely lost my marbles?

Pfft, no. People are just stupid.
(My husband would agree with that logic.)

Everyone now and again my fuse runs short and I need a time out. Sophie is very good at reminding me to breathe. "You need be happy mom." What would I do without her?

Earlier I was trying to type something, and she kept trying to "help" me.

me - "Sophie... PLEASE?!?!?"
*Sophie makes omg-what-did-I-do face*
*I sigh in defeat*
me - "I'm sorry I was grumpy."
*she hugs my face*
you - "You ok, I still love you."

She continues to help me grow.

36 weeks

Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks. (37 according to my cycle)

I'm 3 cm dilated and my cervix is 75% effaced. Considering it took me until 38 weeks to reach that point with Sophie, that's good news. :)

We are still hoping she stays in at LEAST until January. I'd like her to cook as long as possible. Also, Denny can't take the week off to help me until the new year.

I'll update after my appointment next week.

Baby Shower

This past Saturday, we had our baby show for Mya. Guess how many people showed... guess. Other than our family, ONE of the friends we invited; no one else even bothered to call/text. Irritating? God yes. Upside? 2 dozen homemade cupcakes for me. Moving on.

I didn't let it ruin my mood, we had fun anyway. :) Here you see Sophie ripping off every last piece of wrapping paper.

Laser scissors... need I say more? I will cut so many things!

The friend nice enough to show up. Claire, and her insanely cute daughter Dea.

Breastfeeding basket. Full of awesomeness.

Oatmeal cookies! Who knew that oatmeal helped to produce milk? Not I.

The basket also had a gift for Sophie, which I loved. The soon-to-be older sibling often gets forgotten.

Sophie had no problem sharing her new crayons and coloring book with her friend Dea.

List of delightful gifts:

From grandma - $10 and a picture of a dead relative (it's just what she does)

From my dad - the laser scissor set

From Denny's mom & sisters - a baby swing, two cute outfits, & a super soft blanket

From Claire - breastfeeding basket which included : a nursing pillow, pack of nursing pads, lanolin, The Baby Book (love), oatmeal cookies, a huuuge thing of water, tons of other info that is helpful for nursing mommies, and the coloring book/crayons for Sophie.

Thanks everyone :) We love you all!

Nesting

This would be a portion of the diapers awaiting baby girl. (hiding elsewhere are the prefolds, flats, wipes, covers, inserts, liners, and all the bigger diapers) I started sewing her stash, bit by bit, back in May.

In her stash are several flat wraps.

A few pocket diapers. The inside of these is so insanely soft... I heart them.

A few with umbilical cord snap downs.

And the lovely diapers that I've gotten in my monthly swaps.

A nerd diaper specifically for Denny.

And oodles of prefolds.


All in all this is what I have for her.
(keep in mind these are only newborn size, I have a buttload of others)

• 12 covers
• 49 diapers
• 33 inserts for the diapers
  
• 62 prefold/flat diapers

Dare I say, we are well prepared. :)
That totally won't stop me from making even more...

Giant Baby?

Perhaps...

At my check up this week, I was 149 lbs. I am 30 weeks as of tomorrow. I'm now 1 lb shy of gaining 30 lbs with this pregnancy.

I am also measuring 2-3 weeks further ahead. (top to bottom of uterus) Baby is also measuring 2 weeks ahead in size. Yay?

In 2 weeks I go back in, and we'll check her weight. Midwife was guessing she's already about 3 lbs.

You know how mothers curse their children? "I hope you have a child just like you." Maybe I'm going to be punished with a huge baby. My mother had the same tiny figure I do, and she gave birth to me.... at about 10 lbs.

Countdown

As of tomorrow, I am officially 28 weeks pregnant. Assuming she actually stays in until 40 weeks, I only have 12 weeks until delivery. She's already about a week or so ahead on developing, so I'm doubting I have the full 12 weeks.

I've already gained 25 lbs, and the 3rd trimester you gain weight the fastest... joy of joys. I could do another 10 lbs I suppose... but 15 may make me cry. I'm silly like that. Denny finds it hilarious. (jokes on him because he's gained weight too :P muhaha) Oh well. That's what sit ups are for, right?

With such little time until the baby arrives, I get anxious at random times. My biggest worry is about making the transition easy for Sophie. Of course there will be changes, but I want her life to stay as constant and familiar as it can. I've already made Denny all but sign his name in blood, promising that he would take a week off once she was born.

I never had a sister, so I don't really know what to do about it. What if one is fat and one is skinny? What if either of them deals with the crazy/depression/happy pills that is on both sides of our families? What if this? What if that? I have a very vivid imagination, and I can spend hours thinking about things that might happen.

We'll just have to take it as it comes. For now, I'll focus on sewing up adorable tiny diapers, and spending lost of time with my little booger bean.

18 Weeks

In case you haven't noticed, we've started taking weekly pictures. This one was taken at 18 weeks, also the day we found out that we were going to be getting the house. :)

Sophie HAS to have her picture taken when she sees the camera.

I told her to make a silly face, and she did this... Weird kid. She pulled her eye lids apart.

Ultrasound Pictures

I had to argue with my dad's stupid space scanner to get these things on here, so you all better appreciate it!

Click to enlarge them.

First picture, the arrow is pointing to where something would be sticking out on a boy... and there is nothing there.

Second is the bottom view of baby. Rump and thighs. Again, no boy bits.

Lastly, baby all curled up in a ball. :) ENJOY!

3 to 1

Those who won :

Melody
Tasha
Me
Sophie
Mariza
Mary
Dad

That's right. I told all you bitcheses!



Stinky number two is a girl. (or a boy with no junk...) So bring on the girly stuff!

Denny is slowly getting more and more out numbered. :)

For those of you who are still in denial, I have my big ultrasound scheduled in two weeks, then we will get our 100% there-is-no-penis.

TOLD YOU SO!

Pink vs Blue

Get your final votes in people,

our next midwife appointment is tomorrow.

I will be 17 weeks and 5 days along.

If we are lucky, the baby will cooperate...

and we'll get to find out the sex!!!

I'm super excited. :)

*fingers crossed*

IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVESS

Sophie and I are sitting here and watching Yo Gabba Gabba.

Then BAM!

It felt like there was a little fish in my uterus. I've thought I felt it a few times before, but whenever I would put my hand down to check the moving stopped.

NOT TODAY!

For about 30 seconds I could feel little wiggles at the bottom left of my tummy. I'll enjoy the nice gentle movement while I can. Soon enough the kid will be trying to kick it's way out of me.

I'm 16 and a half weeks. :)

Baby Clothes

With us planning to cloth diaper again, a lot of baby clothes are useless. Onesies are a pain. I plan to cut the bottom off all of our onesies to make them into tshirts. Normal cotton pants aren't all too awesome either, they absorb.

Not that we expect anyone to buy us baby clothes in bulk or anything, but assuming someone (probably the grandmas) get super excited and go shopping - I figured I'd share this info.

Tshirts, oodles of them! Especially ones that snap on the side or are long sleeved. Gerber makes them, I found a few online at target or walmart, but they are a pain to find. Carters also makes them. (Carters is totally awesome)

BabyLegs, little baby leg warmers. These are nice, since I won't have to pull pants down to change a diaper. Or even knee high socks that I can cut/sew to make my own.

Fleece/polyester pj sets. Fleece is water resistant, so that is ideal for cloth diapered babies. Footie pjs are often made from the right kind of fabric. Or just some fleece. I am making our own little pants for the baby.

Assuming you find something adorable otherwise, I have no problem altering it. IE something like this nerd shirt, which Denny approves of. (just not yellow, our skin looks horrible in yellow)

I take whatever I can get with a smile. After all, free is free right. :D

Randomness

*staring at my stomach in the mirror*
Me - well, it's definitely noticeable now, I feel like I just exploded over the weekend
Denny - it still just looks like you ate a lot, and couldn't stop

like that's any better...


I found a midwife that I love. I'll get the personal birth, that I didn't really know I wanted last time around. And before you people start your nay-saying, no she isn't some random hippie mom that decided to coach mom's through birth. She is a registered CNM, who only does hospital births. You people trash my birth choices, and I'll punch you in the face.

For the next baby we'll just have to move to a state that has licensed birth centers. Just another excuse to move away from ugly tree-less Utah. (no pine trees don't count as trees, no body actually likes pine trees)


Here are everyone's guesses for the sex so far. If you'd like to be added to the guessing list, just let me know I'm going to put it into baby's scrapbook.

Team Blue (loser team): Mom & Manuel, Papa, Mariza, and now Denny... the traitor!

Team Pink (awesome team): Me, Tasha, and Sophie.


I've decided that I refuse to tell most people the names that we like, for two reasons. 1- I don't want someone to tell me something stupid that ruins the name for me. 2- I might change my mind at the last minute like I did last time.


The craft monster has exploded out of me once more. I've spent a lot of my time at my little craft table lately. I'll put a bunch of new pictures up on my craft blog. Some of the projects were: cloth diapers, denim bibs, gifts for my nieces, and a felt fishing game for Sophie.


Tina bought me a picture printer, so now I can print out the almost 2 years of pictures I've neglected. SCRAPBOOKING GALORE! Props to my nerd husband for trying to set up not one, but two pain in the ass printers.


I pulled out my box of toys from when I was a kid. I have OODLES of Polly Pockets, and Sophie loves them. Aside from often stepping through the landmine field that is my living room, I'm glad she likes them.


And my boobs are awesome.


That is all for now.

Needs Vs. Wants

Since I am no longer blinded by my need for newborn diapers, I've been able to think of other things I should get for the baby.

Sophie was "high maintenance." She never really had great sleep, and soon got used to nursing to sleep. I read all over the internet "DO NOT LET BABY NURSE TO SLEEP," you are supposed to pop them off when they are tired and let them fall asleep. Yea.... right. Not such a lovely concept at 3 in the morning when you've only been able to sleep for 2 hrs at time all week.

I can't remember it, but Denny tells me that Sophie hated being swaddled. I honestly don't even recall swaddling her outside of the hospital, then again my brain was often running on 4 hours of sleep those first few months. With the 2nd baby, I want to try out a swaddler. I've looked at some popular blankets online, and they honestly just seem like torture. Who wants every inch of them strapped down? I mean really. Babies may be in a small area, but they can still move in the womb.
Which is why I choose this swaddler, The Woombie. Awesome, no? It is like a spandex cocoon, the baby can still move but remains nice and swaddled. Plus, they have super cute colors. I'll have to order one once we actually know the sex.

Next I definitely want to babywear. I did with Sophie, but not nearly as much as I'm going to with next baby. Sophie ALWAYS wanted to be held as a baby, so most of the time I just did things one handed. This time I'll just wrap the baby to my chest and go to town. My favorite color choices (and most affordable one I've found) come from the Sleepy Wrap.
How cool does that look? Even better... Denny can use it too! Or I can just buy him his own, he has one demand if he is to be strapped to the baby, the wrap must be nerdy. I have yet to find a nerdy wrap. :(

Also, and I am dead serious about this, I want another bed. Not a different bed, just another one to go along with ours. To either stick in Sophie's room, so I can sleep in there with the baby; or to shove against our current bed, and give us one massive bed.
It would be so convenient! That and I just really want one giant bed. :) I also don't want to have to kick Sophie out of our bed, just because another baby is on the way. It seems mean. Denny could care less really, he just wants his bed back. Maybe I'll just see if I can steal my old bed from my dad's house.

Granted I won't need one until the baby is at least sitting up, I still want a double stroller. And not one of those retarded ones, the one where the kids sit one in front of the other. I hate those. I want one where they sit side by side.
Obviously we won't be getting something like this, that is $700. Absurd for us non-rich folk. I'm hoping I can score a nice one at Kid To Kid when the need for one arises.

Our baby monitor went on the fritz last year, so we'll have to get a new one. Our Wal-Mart one did just fine, unless someone was on the same frequency. Then I would hear a baby cry at 3 in the morning, and a mans voice going to comfort the child. Scared the hell out of me the first time. I went into her room prepared to attack a grown man.
I suppose we'll just have to deal with it. Just one more thing that sucks about living in apartments.

Then I'll need all of my diapering stuff. And this list is just assuming it is a girl.

If we have a boy, I have to get bedding, clothes, all that jazz. Curse all of you who have jinxed me by saying the baby will be a boy.

7 lb Uterus

Not very noticeable... ya? At least that's what I tell myself.



Denny took some pictures with his phone, while we played at the river this evening.

Other than the fact that I now have the generic Mexican highlights...

(I have the red dye to put over them, I just haven't gotten around to it)

My tummy is becoming my biggest physical trait.

(haha "biggest", get it?)

I suppose we'll have to take some actually belly shots here soon.




And yes my kid is running around in her Blue's Clues panties at the river.

Got a problem with it?

Birth Centers

I played with the idea of a midwife when I first got pregnant, but didn't really look into it too much. 1 - we don't have a ton of money to spend, 2 -the pain.

I found that the average cost of midwife + birth center here is about $3,000. Not as much as doctors cost, but then again insurance helps with the doctors. Not to mention when you are lucky enough to get medicaid, you don't pay squat. Sadly, since there are no licensed birth centers in Utah, Medicaid won't cover a delivery at a birth center.

The birth center is what really appealed to me.

Being in control of my birth
Not being tied down to a bed
Eating, drinking, or showering during labor
Going home 4 to 8 hours after birth

It's just my luck that the one freakin licensed place like this would close down the year I get pregnant again. *harrumph* Of course there are still other birth centers around, but nothing insurance will cover.


I first fell in love with BetterBirth. Who wouldn't want to have a baby here? It is like going to a nice hotel to have a baby. Props to the ladies to just skip this step and have the baby at home, it just isn't something I'm comfortable with. A birth center seemed like a nice half way point.

Once I realized it would cost $2,600 ($1,400 if I went the cheap way) I was slightly depressed. Being poor isn't fun, and curse anyone who just has that much money lying around. If I really wanted to go there, we'd have to take out a loan. :( Being the responsible adult I am Feeling guilty about making Denny find that much money, I didn't even bother contacting the place.

I started looking at other centers/midwives and all the prices were pretty close to the same. Denny said the next child we could plan to have in a birth center, but I don't plan to have another until I at least get Sophie and/or the 2nd in school.

So I get to grumble and just fine a midwife who will deliver at McKay Dee. Damn you Utah, and your lack of licensed birthing centers!

Picking a Game Plan

The moment I saw that little pink line, I started stressing about the birth. Would we get medicaid? How would we pay for the hospital stay? Who would watch Sophie? What if something went wrong? Blah blah blah.

I like to be prepared, I like to know what is going to happen, and when it will happen. This makes it impossible for me to be friends with those kind of people that just randomly expect you to drop your plans for them. It also drives me insane to try to plan family outings, because family likes to do their own thing. So I plan what I can, and adjust when things ruin my plans.

Here is my "everything goes perfect" plan -

I go into labor at night/early in the morning. We get to the hospital and set everything up, while a family member bunks down here at the apartment while Sophie sleeps. Denny goes back to get Sophie (or the person watching her brings her up). Assuming I'm not in labor all freakin day, Sophie can stay and play in the room. If not, we'll have someone take her out to have a fun day.

I'll have the nurses block the entrance to my room. I explained to Denny that it is my vagina, and I want an intimate birth this time around. Granted everyone on the floor saw my vajay last time (thanks to my hemorrhage), I'd like it to be us as a team. He can't disagree, because I'd just have the nurses kick him out too. :P

Once the baby is born, the very first person in the room will be Sophie. No ifs ands or buts. Then grandparents, family, and whoever else might be there. (I also don't want a circus there.) After that I'm kicking everyone out so we can spend time together as a family. Don't like it, tough nuts. Count your blessings because I first planned on not calling anyone until baby was born, but I figured if people want to wait in the waiting room, so be it.

Visitors can come in the evening, and Denny can take Sophie home for the night. 1 those fold out beds are too small for him, and 2 I want Sophie to have a parent with her. Hopefully I only have to spend 24 hrs in the hospital, if not - Denny will spend the day with Sophie.


You've all been forewarned, I love visitors and babies as much as the next person, but I will have our time as a family first.

So says the mean pregnant lady.