Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas

This year I didn't bother with my camera while the girls unwrapped gifts.
I set our handycam on the tripod, and simply enjoyed watching the girls.
I forgot what  a pain in the ass it is to get videos off that thing.
So until I can remember how the hell I did it last time, here are some pictures.


The instant the girls woke up, they ran into the front room to see if Santa had come.
(now I've never cared much for Santa, but since Sophie has reached the age where Santa is the coolest thing since sliced bread, I'm rolling with it)


Santa did indeed come.
He ate all of the green cookies we made too.


Mya's little eyes set on the mountain of gifts, and she all but exploded.
She screamed with excitement and ran over to the pile.
In no time at all, she was trying to rip a gift open.


I had to kindly pry the gift from her freakishly strong hands, and remind her that we needed to eat breakfast first.
She was not pleased.


After breakfast, we released the children on the mound of happiness.


Our family generally sends money for Christmas.
So the girls get a pretty good selection of gifts.
This year I got them a few nonsense items, but tried to stick mostly to useful things.
Thinking toys, boardgames, hands-on stuff.


We spent our morning playing with all the new awesomeness.


After lunch and a nap.
We headed over to Papa's for Christmas dinner.


We have my brother and his wife their gifts.
Awesome mugs.
I made the stencils and stuck them on the mugs, but the girls did all the painting.

I apologize in advance to the rest of the family, I didn't get gifts finished in time to mail.
So your gifts are coming next week sometime.
Just think of them as post-endoftheworld gifts. :)


Denny made some phone calls, thanking Grandma Horton and his dad for their gifts.
Also, thank you to my parents.


Sophie and Mya ran amuck.



Mya picking her nose. 
She was generous enough to share her loot.
"Mommy, EW!"
*wipe on mommy*


Our Christmas was pretty delighful, especially considering everyone had fevers.
I''ll do my best to get the video up before next Christmas rolls around. :)


Hope you all had a wonderful time too!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Bring Me Tacos

I have been too busy dying to bother posting anything.

Honestly, I kind of want to punch my hippie self right in the face.
The one that so confidently says "pregnancy/birth are not illnesses, they do not belong in the hospital."

All I feel is ill. 
I have felt like I've had the flu for the past 2 months.
Exhausted. I could drop into a coma at any given point during the day.
Nauseous. Any smell makes me want to hurl.
Weak. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack after carrying Mya up the stairs.
Emotional. Everything makes me want to cry or scream.

I will be done with the hell of the 1st trimester after the new year.
There is hope.

Current Updates

Me- dying.

Denny- trying to be both mom and dad.
Not so easy.

Sophie- socially starving. 
Every day she asks me for playdates with anyone she can think of.
Problem 1 - we have no car.
Problem 2 - I have zero desire to see anyone.

Mya - tiny terrorist.
Fighting any and all forms of sleep.
She has entered that state of toddlerhood where she just blankly stares at you.
"Mya, come here." *blank stare*
"Mya. Come. Here" *blank stare*
"MYA. COME. HERE" *turns and walks away.*
It's loads of fun.

Feel free to drop by with a bag full of tacos at any time.

Friday, November 23, 2012


I have so much to be thankful for.

First, and foremost, I am thankful for my family.

Other things that make my life that much better:
  • our home
  • the few good friends we have
  • music
  • our good health
  • family members who are not sociopaths
  • photography
  • hot showers
  • lemon water
  • fiber powder
  • anti-nausea medication
  • bland food


I first became suspicious when my period was a no-show in October.
My boobs hurt something fierce, I ate everything in sight, and still no period.

10 pregnancy tests later.

Halloween morning I got my positive.
I told Denny, who is incapable of displaying the appropriate amount of enthusiasm.
(Jim from The Office = appropriate reaction)
I may as well have told him that I bought some shoes.

So I told my friend Rachael, who is very good at being excited.

I met with my midwife, who informed me that my uterus was far too small to be a good 10 weeks along.
An ultrasound confirmed that there was only a 4 or 5 week old sack.

"Either you just ovulated much later than you thought, or the pregnancy ended at 5 weeks."
Depressing. I ate way too much that night.

Two very long weeks later, I went back to see if there had been any growth.
The fetus has a heartbeat!

Schlaikjer spawn number 3 is due to show in July 2013.

A few quick notes.
-baby will be born at home
-yes, it is safe
-i understand that 3 small children will be a handful, there isn't much i can do about it now
-no, the baby wasn't planned, but the best things in life aren't
-i am sick as crap, so forgive me if i'm not my spunky self
-if you want to help out at all, feel free to donate to the "midwife fund" to help pay for the birth, or bring me dinners. i am hungry all. the. time.

Mya looking at the ultrasound picture
"no that's a baby"
"no! RAWR!"
Apparently I am giving birth to a dinosaur.

Sophie "mom, if it's a boy, can we name it rocko?"
"rocko, huh?"
"yea, like the show!"

Sophie "the baby can use one of my blankets, because when it is borned it will be cold."

Mya nursing in my lap.
Sophie "mya stop! you have to leave milk for the baby!"

Monday, October 29, 2012

Halloween Hoopla - part 1

I make our costumes every year.

Because I am awesome.

And store bought costumes are lame.
And I just like to make shit.

I was all set to have us be characters from the show Adventure Time.
I sketched up everything, and had an idea of what fabrics I needed.

*enter Sophie*

"I want to be Pokemon!"



I had to remind myself that Halloween is for the children.

Anywho, here are the girls' costumes

Sophie is Flareon.

Mya is Charmander.

Prepare to scroll through tons of pictures.



Mya was a turd and wouldn't hold still.


Random cuteness.



My kids are just too darn cute.

Saturday evening was the church Halloween Carnival.

I knew that the girls would enjoy it, so I was determined to go.

I greatly underestimated just how awkward it would be.
You see, several things happened, and we stopped going to church last spring.

Being the awesome parents we are, we trudged through the forced smiles, stink eye glances, and all together avoided eye contact.

At one point, sitting alone at our little table, I had the intense urge to just grab the girls and run out the doors.

At least were the handful of delightful people that I genuinely like, and I'm glad I got to see them.

Sophie got her face painted, and all put exploded with happiness.
 Mya hoarded the beanbags from the beanbag toss.

Denny played with the camera while Mya freaked out.
"Would you smile?"
"Is that why you look so happy?"

Sunday afternoon we got to work turning our pumpkins into works of art.

 For those of you wondering...
Yes, Denny is indeed shirtless 90% of the time.



I will try to snap some more pictures on Halloween.
At least of our costumes. :)

Friday, October 19, 2012

I Have Sympathy for Addicts

No wonder crack addicts never want to stop.
This is pure hell.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been weaning myself off of Zoloft.
Weaning should make it easier right?

As of last Sunday, I am completely anti-depressant free.
Dear God, what was I thinking?

I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I decided to stop:
  • I detest medication and think it is completely abused nowadays
  • my goal was to be pill free by December
  • we plan to make baby #3 next year, and Zoloft can really screw up a fetus
  • a therapist once told me that I would be on medication the rest of my life, I have every intention of proving him wrong.
  • I'm stubborn
  • etc.

Every day I tell myself:
 "It's ok, you've hit bottom now. This withdrawal can't possibly get any worse, tomorrow will be easier."
Thus far, not the case.

I get intensely annoyed at everyone and everything.
I have had a constant headache for the past 2 weeks.
My body feels weak, tired, and drained.
My dreams are absurd.
I want to cry, scream, and laugh all at once.

I wouldn't be able to power through this, if it wasn't for my darling little family.

Sophie has been a doll.
She distracts Mya, keeping her busy so that I don't feel like I'm going to fall apart.

Right when I feel as if I am going to snap, Mya gives me hugs and kisses.

Denny, poor sweet Denny.

The other day I had made lasagna for dinner.
In my attempt to crazy the tray of lava over to the table, the container gave way and toppled onto the floor. For several moments, I just stared at the bright red sauce all over my floor and wall, wanting to cry.

"Too bad you dropped it, mom." Sophie innocently called from her chair at the table.
I took a deep breath, scooped up the remaining food, stepped over the mess, and had dinner with my girls. Once Denny got home he stared at the gory scene, obviously amused. Without uttering a single sarcastic word, he grabbed a wet rag and cleaned up the mess.

How I love him. :)

He has been nothing but supportive through my snippy comments, bursts of uncontrollable laughter, and other insane moments.

note to family: Don't worry, I am not losing my mind. The crazy comes in waves, at times I feel fine. I love you all. Thank you for being so concerned about me. :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tahoe - part 4

Since this is the last post of our Tahoe trip, 
I figured I could actually try and make the pictures pretty. :)

We spent a LOT of time at the beach, 
I'm fairly certain we went at least once a day.

The girls loved it, can you blame them?

It is just so relaxing to listen to the little waves splash up.

Sophie's favorite part was climbing up the giant rocks.

Mya's favorite was either jumping over the "waves,"

or the ducks.
This little fellow wasn't shy at all, I could have easily reached out and touched him.

Just because they are cute, here are Mya's little toes.

More exploring in the rocks.

Sophie set various things "free" into the lake.
Big ass pine cones, rocks, wood, etc.

At one point Sophie was collecting tiny rocks in her pockets.
Mya was annoyed to find that her pants were pocket-less.

She improvised.

Who needs pockets when you have diapers?


Attack the mom.

There was also a little playground on the beach.

For our last night in Tahoe, we took a quick walk over to one of the big hotels.

And hit the arcade!

disclaimer: I detest on-camera flash, but sometimes you just have to deal with it.

Mya went ape shit for ski ball.
At one point she even bit Sophie while trying to get more balls from her.
Sisterly love.

Mya also enjoyed ripping off all the tickets... one by one.
That made for a fun time trying to get them all counted up.

We all had a good time, and played games hardcore.

Both of the girls won jackpots.

At one point Sophie won 1,000 tickets. :)


Armed with our 2,000+ tickets, and we hit the little prize stand.
The girls collected a bag of nonsense items and we called it a night.

Thank you SO much to my mom and Manuel for inviting us out there, and helping with the costs.
We love you both so much, and cannot wait to see you again!