Father's Day

Our family loves camping.

Loves.

We decided that our Father's Day weekend would be spent camping.

So here are a billion pictures from this weekend.

Just waking up.

Mya & Uncle Isaak.

Sophie collecting sticks for the fire.

Don't you just love her crazy morning hair?

Eating eggs!

Mya & Papa.

Thor.

Mya & Papa just chillin'.

More eggs.

Sophie assisting Mya with her drink.

ON TO THE BEACH!

It was cold.

Denny is insane, and part polar bear, so he didn't mind.

He also think's he is a fish.

Run away!

Trying to lure Sophie into the water.

Mya carrying around the mustard packet from my sandwich.

Being blinded by the sun.

Building sand castles.

So that Mya can destroy them.

Sophie wanted to be buried in the sand.

The bitchin' sand castle that we made.

And Mya smooshed.

Mya walking around and making Papa collect rocks for her.

Isaak looks retarded in the goggles.

He also couldn't see because they were fogged up.

Collecting rocks.

Playing in the water.

I realize that I have yet again for gotten to document myself in our family activities.

Oh well.

There is always next time.

Happy Father's Day to all of the lovely daddies in the world.

Especially my husband, dad, and big brother.

I love you all.

Adoption is Love

I know I haven't posted much, I've been busy with my daycare/preschool.

Sorry.

We are going camping this weekend, so there will be lots of pictures to come.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Denny and I have always known that we would adopt. We weren't sure when, or how, but we knew that our family would grow that way.

Originally we intended to have all of our biological children first, but life has given me a nudge in a different direction.

You see, I get really bad Postpartum Depression (PPD), scary bad.

I still want my big family, but I don't know how much more PPD I could survive.

Thus...

There is really just one thing stopping me from adopting a handful of children right this minute... adoption is ridiculously expensive.

$20,000 is considered cheap.

I am having a hard enough time coming up with $10,000 to move to Texas.... but $20,000? Ugh.

We did consider fostering to adopt, but the main goal is always to reunite foster children with their families. I get very attached easily, and would quickly have my heart broken. And the goal is to prevent me from spiraling into depression... so that route just seems counter-productive. 

We plan to have a private/independent adoption rather than go through an agency.

Just personal preference.

So.

If you feel like throwing money at us so that we can expand our family, go right ahead.

or

If you know someone who is pregnant and looking for an adoptive family, keep us in mind. :)

I don't plan to go into hardcore adoption mode until we move to Texas, but if a child finds a way to our family before then, so be it.

I believe when the time is right, we will find the children that belong in our family.

Bittersweet

Most people are well aware of the fact that I am crunchy/granola/hippie/whatever.

I also adore breastfeeding.

It is a special bond that only I ever get to share with my babies.

When I was pregnant with Mya, I was prepared for the PPD that was inevitable. 

I told myself that my goal was to nurse her to at least 18 months, like I did with Sophie.

Every 6 months I would reevaluate and make sure that I was still mentally/emotionally well enough to stay off of medication.

It was much worse than I was prepared for.
So much so, that I now have a crippling fear of the PPD I will face after we have more children.

9 months after I had Mya, I caved.

I was started on 50 mg of Zoloft.

It helped.

For a while.

A few weeks later it wasn't doing squat. 

Upped to 100 mg.

Still nothing.

All the while I have tried to "fix" myself.

Exercising

Getting sunlight

Eating healthier

Keeping a journal

Drinking red raspberry leaf tea

Taking fish oil & D3

Actually making myself shower and get dressed each day

and so on.

Anyway.

The point is, I gave everything I had to make sure that I could continue to nurse Mya.

Slowly I've been starting to detach her from the boob.

Instead of offering it to her, I would wait until she asked.

Today I have been offering her cows milk instead.

She hasn't fussed at all.

I am delighted and depressed all at once.

This is great because I can now start taking St Johns Wort instead of Zoloft.

This is awful because I love nursing her.

I love waking up and finding her sprawled across me and already latched on.

I love that I supply her with nutrients and antibodies that keep her healthy and strong.

I will be mourning our breastfeeding relationship as it ends.

This & That

I'm slacking in the blog department, I know.

Oh well.

I haven't been on my computer much for several reasons:

- I don't get on my computer during day. It just makes me irritates me to try and do stuff on here with tiny people climbing all over me.

- I am spending time with my girls during the day.

- I have been getting my Childcare/Preschool set up.

- I have been spring cleaning and getting rid of a bunch of crap we don't need.

- and I'm sure there's more.

Anywho, here are some cute pictures to hold you over until I get back into the swing of things.

Sophie gave Mya "tattoos."

(that giant heap in the background- yard sale clothes)

Playing outside.