Thursday, December 9, 2010

Anxiety

Tomorrow I hit 35 weeks.

Where has all my time gone?!?

I'm not really nervous about the actually birthing process, or even having to completely change our lives to accommodate a newborn. The thing that drives me nuts is how unpredictable everything is.

Next time around we will definitely be saving up to deliver at a birthing center, that way we can have baby, relax a bit, then go home. I hate that I have to spend 24 hrs in the hospital. I actually feel really comfortable with hospital settings (a good deal of my high school years were spent around them), but being away from my little family will be very hard for me.

I have no intention of shipping Sophie off to some family member's home while I'm at the hospital. I have 2 main reasons for this: 1- Seems kinda evil to banish her, then have her come back and find an intruder in mommy's arms. 2- I probably have worse separation anxiety than she does.

I'm totally fine leaving her with Denny, but that's about it. I know how he parents, I trust him. But the TWO of them away from me.... ugh. I'll be trapped in a hospital bed, and they'll be here at home. Torture. The nurses will have to sedate me if they expect me to sleep.

Then there is the matter of going into labor.

Both of our families are known for being difficult to reach during normal daylight hours... let alone the wee hours of the night. And lets face it, what baby actually cooperates and comes during convenient hours? We also have very few relaible friends, and the ones who are have responsibilities of their own.

So as of now, I plan to labor as long as I can at home. God forbid we aren't able to reach anyone to come help with Sophie at the hospital, we'll just deal with it on our own.

5 more weeks! (if that)

1 comment:

Miss Sophie said...

I would be more than happy to help out with Sophie while you're laboring :) If there's anything else I can do to help, let me know. Also, I am soooo sorry I haven't stopped by.